Jokes

Tap a picture to enlarge it. Mildly naughty, as you’d expect.

Poster: a man strolls under an umbrella while a woman carries a huge crate of beer bottles. Caption: A wife. Because beer is heavy. — A wife: because beer is heavy.

Cartoon by DuBouillon: a man carrying two suitcases walks under a street lamp, and his shadow looks rather rude. A startled woman in a yellow dress leaps away. — Cartoon by DuBouillon: a trick of the light.

The old man’s potato garden

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

For heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.

Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left.

That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love, Bubba

The Naughty Boys Lament

As far as we can remember, this was written and performed for the Naughty Boys Music Festival, held in the clubhouse on 1st October 2004.

We are the Naughty Boys of FinchleyAnd we roam from town to townIf you ever see us comingGet your money out ’cause you know that it’s your round

Oh Lloydy Lloydy Lloydy LloydyWe thank you for the use of your pubBecause there’s no where else in FinchleyThat would let a bunch like us ever use their snug

If you ever come to LondonTo take in all the sightsMake sure that you get down to FinchleyCome on in and see the famous shelf of Shite

We are the naughty boys of FinchleyAnd it’s our anniversaryI can’t remember when we got togetherBut it sure feels like bloody purgatory

I hope to see you here again next yearWe really must do this againBut if your not I think that I’ll understand thatMy bloody awful singings done it again

Words and music copyright Dick Callan

Got a joke the Naughty Boys should see? Send it in and we’ll add it.