Thank you again Dick for these contributions...

Beer Wife

Penis Cartoon

An old man lived alone in Idaho

He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Bubba:
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later, he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES. Love, Bubba

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad:
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love, Bubba

Lyrics to the Naughty Boys Lament

As far as we can remember this was written and performed for the Naughty Boys Music Festival held in the clubhouse on 1st October 2004

We are the Naughty Boys of Finchley
And we roam from town to town
If you ever see us coming
Get your money out ‘cause you know that it’s your round

Oh Lloydy Lloydy Lloydy Lloydy 
We thank you for the use of your pub
Because there’s no where else in Finchley
That would let a bunch like us ever use their snug

If you ever come to London
To take in all the sights
Make sure that you get down to Finchley
Come on in and see the famous  shelf of Shite

We are the naughty boys of Finchley
And it’s our anniversary
I can’t remember when we got  together
But it sure feels like bloody purgatory

I hope to see you here again  next year
We really must do this again
But if your not I think that I’ll understand that
My bloody awful singings done it again

Words and music copyright Dick Callan