The Lady of the Manor,
Was dressing for a ball,
When she espied a full-back, or hooker, or forward, or scrum-half, etc
Pissing up against the wall,

Chorus:

With his bloody great kidney wiper,
And balls the size of three,
and a yard and a half of foreskin,
Hanging down below the knee.
Hanging down, (echo: Swinging free)
Oscillating merrily
With a yard and a half of foreskin
Hanging down below the knee.

The lady wrote a letter,
And in it she did say,
"Oh I'd rather be fucked by you sir
Than his lordship any day"

Chorus

The full-back read the letter,
He read it oh so well,
His balls began to fester ,
And his cock began to swell.

Chorus

The full-back got on horseback,
And to her he did ride,
With his prick along the saddle,
And a ball on either side.

Chorus

The full-back fucked the lady,
He fucked the maids an' all,
But the way he fucked the butler
Was the funniest way of all.

Chorus

The full-back then he died,
Was buried in St Pauls,
It took four and twenty bearers
To carry both his balls.

Chorus

Slow:
Some say he went to heaven,
Some say he went to hell,
Speed up:
And there he fucked the Devil
And the Devil's wife as well
Chorus